title
oommbgcolour
AVAILABLE ON

In each episode of Out of My Mind, one person talks to journalist Adam Dudding about their life, and the view from inside their head. These first-person dispatches from the front lines of mental health are moving, yet also full of moments of surprise, tenderness and humour. There are seven episodes. Two are available now and the following five will be released each Monday.

where to listen

You can listen to the podcast directly from this page, or through your favourite podcast app, including Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or via an RSS feed.

But wherever you're listening, please do it through headphones – it sounds much better that way!

Trailer: Out of My Mind

Coming soon: Stuff’s new podcast Out of My Mind is a series of true stories about mental health, told by the people who’ve been there.
Listen

1: Angels and Demons
- Egan Bidois

I remember the doctor saying to my parents: ‘Your son Egan? He’s not coming home. He’s completely untreatable.’ And I remember the look in my parents’ eyes: it was the look of someone’s hope dying.
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737.

2: The paroxetine diaries
- Ashleigh Young

I’ve tried a lot of things: Meditation. Hot yoga. Cycling. Saunas. Cold showers. More sleep. Less sleep. Acupuncture. Therapy. I tried giving up caffeine and it was awful! I believe in the power of a cup of tea.
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737.

3: Crossing the lines
- Monday August 19

3: Crossing the lines
- “Hanna Smith”

That damned voice was going round in my head: ‘Why can’t you do this? Other mothers manage to defrost chicken without burning down the house. And sure, they get angry at their kids but they don’t lash out.’
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737. More on post-natal depression here.

4: Fight or flight
- Monday August 26

4: Fight or flight
- Jami-Lee Ross

We put ourselves in glossy brochures, looking the perfect picture of what we want the public to believe we are. It wasn’t until it all exploded that I realised what was going on in my head.
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737.

5: Another realm
- Monday September 2

5: Another realm
- Karlo Mila

When my father arrived his face morphed into something devil-like. People that I loved shape-shifted right in front of me. And you can’t stop it just because you don’t believe it’s true.
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737.

6: Harvey Milk and the dinosaurs
- Monday September 9

6: Harvey Milk and the dinosaurs
- Andy Cawston

The Foreign Legion parachute out of aeroplanes, fight wars and slither through jungles, and for some people that might have some appeal. But for me it was an opportunity to reboot and start again.
Listen Warning: Discussion of suicide.

7: Barbed wire
- Monday September 16

7: Barbed wire
- Taimi Allan

One place was like the best Betty Ford Clinic – all tempura fish and espressos and people walking around with floaty scarves. And then there was the other extreme, with padded walls and barbed-wire fences.
Listen Warning: Strong language and discussion of suicide. To talk to a counsellor, call or text free to 1737.

Credits

This podcast was made with support from a Like Minds Like Mine grant from the Mental Health Foundation.

presenter/producer

Adam Dudding

Editorial adviser

Eugene Bingham

Photographers

David White and David Unwin

Interactive designer

Sungmi Kim

Art/animations

Jemma Cheer

Executive producers

Carol Hirschfeld and Keith Lynch

Projects Director

John Hartevelt

Sound Engineer

Alex Chalcoff at Department of Post

Music

Audio Network

where to get help

1737, Need to talk?

Suicide Crisis Helpline

The Lowdown

Supporting Families