We know when people are properly cared for, a community approach is the right way forward, so why is our current system said to be failing? It's not all about money, service providers say, it's more about attitudes. Katie Kenny and Laura Walters piece together the current model.
Raewyn Hughes remembers the crack of the auctioneer’s hammer as they sold her father’s farming machinery. She couldn’t see the auction from the house, on a pea crop farm just outside Napier, but she could hear it.
Years later, she would learn about her father’s history with mental illness, and how he killed himself. But overnight, aged seven, she became an extremely well-behaved child.
“I didn’t know dad’s cause of death so I didn’t know whether it was likely to happen to anyone else in the family,” says Hughes, now 63. It was.
Over several cups of coffee in her house in Christchurch, she describes her own mental illness; treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, stints in psychiatric hospitals, suicide attempts. But unlike her father, she survived, and recovered.
Her youngest son, Justin Hughes, recalls when his mother was at her worst, she was a “shell” of her former self; struggling to hold a conversation and even look him in the eye.
“When she was in hospital I would wonder, is this her forever? When she was like that, at her worst, she wasn’t the person I knew. Not my mum.”

What’s the definition of a humane society?
Nigel Fairley, general manager of mental health for Hutt Valley, Wairarapa, and Capital & Coast services, answers his own question.
“The definition of a humane society is how we treat people with mental illness, and the elderly. It’s a simple measure, and I’m not sure we’re doing it well.”
Since the closing of the old institutions, Fairley says he has seen a regression in social acceptance of mental health.
“I think there’s probably less care, less tolerance, and — I probably shouldn’t say this — but the way things are reported in the media is very negative, and very simplistic.
“If it’s true mental health services are failing then, actually, that’s an indication society is failing,” Fairley says. “And that’s where the solution has to be.”
“Having said that,” he adds with a smile, “we would welcome more money”.

‘If I had a golden wish …’
Linda Smith doesn’t remember much about her third admission to a psychiatric ward, in 1990, except that she deteriorated quickly and spent a lot of time in seclusion. It was her first admission to Christchurch's Sunnyside (now Hillmorton) Hospital.
“I just remember being held down and getting a drip put into me, the feeling of the fluid going in, then everyone running out of the room,” she says, “that’s about my only memory of a four to six-week period.”
The young charge nurse didn’t want anyone to know about her diagnosis: schizoaffective, a condition that includes aspects of both schizophrenia and mood disorders.
“I was really unwell, really psychotic. I was given electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) [where an electric current is used to disrupt the brain chemistry] under the [Mental Health] Act about four or five times. I wasn’t responsive to medication.
“I was seeing rats, and I had maggots crawling up my legs. Once, when I was in a halfway house, there was a maggot eating a hole in my hand, and I could literally see through to the wall on the other side.”
For more than a decade, she was in and out of the system. After she was diagnosed with and began treatment for an autoimmune disease, she became well enough to volunteer, which then helped her return to paid work. Throughout her recovery, she was inspired by “amazing people” who shared their experiences. Now, she’s doing that for others.
“I’m leading a very different life to what I expected when I did my nursing training. But you can’t live your life in the ‘what-if’, you have to live your life in the now. This journey, it’s taught me a lot of things, and it’s made me a better person.”
We first met at a symposium on the physical health of tāngata whai ora (mental health service users), where Smith was attending in her capacity as a consumer adviser for specialist mental health services. She’s passionate about the Equally Well movement; a group of organisations working to improve the physical health of people with mental health and addiction issues. This group has a shorter life expectancy, and higher rates of cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome, and oral health issues, than the general population, Smith explains.
“Not only are these people marginalised by having a mental illness, they’re marginalised by their medication, and additional physical health problems.”
While there's been good progress, “stigma is still rife around mental illness”, she says.
“If I had a golden wish, it would be that everyone who has a mental illness can talk about it the way cancer has become talked about.”

A story of redemption
Raewyn Hughes was 19, in her second year of university in Palmerston North, when she started experiencing depression and anxiety. She was horrified when her family doctor referred her to a psychiatrist. It was the early 1970s, and she didn’t want to tell anyone. “I learnt to live with it. It was all I knew.”
After changing courses to study teaching in Canterbury, she got her qualifications. Shortly afterwards, she married, and had three sons. But worsening symptoms meant she went on antidepressants for the first time. They helped, but not enough. While she had a variety of jobs related to teaching, she couldn’t find full-time work.
“That’s what really became the point of spiralling down: I couldn’t get work.”
In the late 1990s, she was suicidal, and admitted to hospital for the first time. Back then, she says, the system was “rigid and regimented”. Her psychiatrist was distant, and didn’t like Hughes asking questions. Even after she was discharged, the depression didn’t lift, and she struggled to get decent work.
But the second time she was admitted to hospital, more than a decade later, her experience was “significantly better”.
Since then, she’s had the same case manager, which has made a “huge difference” in her recovery, she says. He’s English, and enjoys tramping. Hughes enjoys getting to know him.
“My psychiatrist was the same, you could have a joke with her."
“The fact they allowed you to see a bit about them, they ceased to be just medical practitioners, they became humans, and I learnt to trust them.”
Without that trust, it’s unlikely she would have accepted her diagnosis of bipolar disorder, or the recommended treatments of medication and ECT.
“The stigma around ECT is huge,” she says, “and I’ve become a poster girl for it.”
She takes any opportunity to demystify the procedure, which has come a long way from the horror stories of what was colloquially called “electric shock treatment”. For Hughes, the therapy resulted in “instant improvement”, she says.
“It takes more time to put you under the anesthetic than it does to do the procedure. I just come out of it and get up and have a cup of tea. The worst bit is they put a sticky goo on the electrodes which you have to wash out of your hair the next morning. I mean, that’s my experience, and obviously they’ve got me on the right dosage.”
Today, life is pretty good. She works part-time, has her own place, and finds it easier to relate to her boys. She’s always been very open with them about the death of her father, and her own struggles.

Justin Hughes believes in inter-generational trauma. Photo: Monique Ford/Stuff
“I think I was about eight when I found out how granddad died,” Justin Hughes says. “I obviously couldn’t absorb it all, but later, I could see how much it plays out in my mum’s life.”
He sees his mother’s story as one of “redemption”.
“I never met my granddad, but his death affected me in that it affected my grandmother, and my mother, and I’m her son. I feel it’s good to acknowledge your history, your past, but that doesn’t mean it determines your trajectory.”
Where to get help
Need to talk? 1737: free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor
Lifeline: 0800 543 354
Youthline: 0800 376 633 free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
Samaritans: 0800 726 666
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 or www.depression.org.nz
The Lowdown: www.thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626
SPARX.org.nz: online e-therapy tool
OUTline NZ: 0800 688 5463 for confidential telephone support for the LGBTQI+ family, as well as their friends and families
Note: all helplines are available 24/7. For further information about supports available to you, contact the Mental Health Foundation's free resource and information service (09 623 4812 or info@mentalhealth.org.nz) during business hours.
This project was made possible by funding from the Frozen Funds Charitable Trust, through the Mental Health Foundation.
Words: Katie Kenny and Laura Walters
Illustration and layout: Jemma Cheer
Visuals editor: Alex Liu
Copy editor: Joanne Butcher